This is the kind of story that keeps me going-- doing what I do. Successes--small and large are what keep us moving toward the brightness of the future. Whether baby’s first steps, a passing grade or a full deep breath, completion juices us with lovely hormones and a welcome sense of satisfaction. This crossing a threshold to something new--we call progress.

Here’s a success story from a woman who has liberated herself. She was gracious enough to allow me to accompany her along her path and generous to offer her success story here to inspire and encourage others.

Hey, Narcissist. You don’t know me anymore; but you never really did. You only saw me through your own image projected on to me, and how it reflected back to you. I think you called me successful, and independent, in the beginning. You professed your love and awe and just “had to have me”, “could not live without me.” Yet slowly you took all the things away from me, that made me, me. Hateful, angry, accusing, judgmental words so gradually replaced the language of adoration you used to cast your spell of abuse and control. You wouldn’t recognize me now.

I smile, a lot.

All the clothes in my closet are different, the jewelry I wear, the music I choose, and the foods I eat. They are all my choices, and mine alone. You have never slept in the bed I sleep in each night, ridden in the car I drive or marveled at the beautiful new tattoo on my right forearm, forget-me-nots. I have my Daddy’s name back, fully and completely.

And, I smile, a lot.

Love is still here. I will never let you take that from me. Love for my daughters, love of my work, and love of myself. They never left me; as hard as you tried to make me believe love of anything but you did not exist, you failed. I believe now, more than ever before; and not because of you, because of me. The hard work of a journey back to myself restoring the faith you failed to steal. You lost.

My smile is a gift I choose to share. A lot.

There’s a man I know. He thanks you, because he knows me. He sees me; neurotic, ambitious, untamed, kind, generous, loving – ME. The one you missed out on. He plays me beautiful music in the morning, is the perfect cooking companion, and will sit, looking longingly at the side of my face in the passenger seat while I drive, full of joy just to be there with me. He kisses me intently, holds me with strong yet gentle embrace and makes me feel safe. He brings me the nice flowers; the good wine and takes me to see the movie I want to see. He makes me coffee and sits with me at the table to eat breakfast, no TV. When we make love, I see stars. Beautiful stars, he likes it when I’m on top. He holds me gently when we sleep and greets me in the morning with a smile and a “you’re so beautiful”. He tells me I’m a bad-ass and I can do anything I set my mind to. I believe him, because I know it’s true.

We smile. A lot.

This is what “no contact” means. You cannot hurt me anymore. You are powerless; your reign is over. I win.

I will smile, without you, forever.

Smiling with you,

Tina