Happy New Year to You and Me! As this day marks my 10th anniversary it is extra special to me. Ten years ago today I awoke from a coma in a small hospital in a foreign country. I’d taken my kids for the week to an intensive language school in Veracruz, Mexico. We left home […]

  When I was a young teenager, my quiet, steadfast stepfather gave me a lamp. Not an electric lamp, but one in which oil is the fuel and a wick provides the light. He attached a small note to the gift. It said, “Your word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto […]

Perhaps there is some love hidden deep within the relationship, but it’s not what’s showing up in this whirl. Here’s the dance: He feels like a piece of sh*t. She can’t bear his suffering. He goes down to the depths of pain and she ties her rope to him in hopes of saving him from […]

One of the first words a child learns is the word “no.” Ask any two-year-old if they want an ice cream cone, and they’ll say “no” even as they reach for it. They know the word; they know it’s a way to express their burgeoning independence. But sometimes they’re not quite clear on its meaning. […]

Do you go down rabbit holes? Does it take you off course? My invitation to rabbit holes is resistance. For me, resistance is not so much about staying stuck in one place as it is about not staying the course. Instead of persisting, of staying the course, I resist—by chasing rabbits. I’d much rather race […]

Late last summer I had to change my route from home to wherever I was headed. The most expedient, convenient, logical way from my house to the main thoroughfare was inaccessible. My road was closed. I could no longer take my familiar way through by driving around barriers or outwitting the road construction. A new […]

I remember the excited delight of getting out of school for the summer. It was great and we students were ready to jump long before the final bell rang. Sweet memories I cherish, but not so much how I feel about May these days. Nevertheless, here we go. It’s the end of May, heading into […]

You’ve celebrated—or survived—another Mother’s Day. Whatever the day held, your experience of Mother’s Day was unique. It was yours, and yours alone. But the question I want to ask on this week after Mother’s Day is universal. Now that you’ve had your experience of Mother’s Day, how did you mother yourself? Were you kind and […]

When I think of celebrating Mother’s Day, I think of having my children here at home with me, spending time together as a family. That would be the perfect gift.   Or would it?   On the one hand, being with my kids and doing something special, like going on a bike ride together on […]

“Practice dying.” That is family therapist Carl Whitaker’s advice on living fully (he was quoting Plato). Throughout the 25 years that quote has been posted on my bulletin board, I’ve revised my interpretation of it from time to time. After being so ill once that I literally did have one foot in the grave, I’ve […]